We can see only what we are!!!

Who Are We Really Judging?

Why Every Judgment Reveals the Self?

 One of the most profound insights that arises through self-observation is this: - "Whenever we speak about another person, we are, knowingly or unknowingly, speaking about ourselves."

At first glance, this may appear exaggerated. Surely, when we describe someone else's behavior, we are describing them. But if we observe carefully, we discover something astonishing: every opinion, every interpretation, every judgment first passes through the filter of our own mind.

What emerges is not an objective description of another person, but our own conditioned perception.

This understanding has immense significance, not only in psychology but also in spirituality.

THE IMPOSSIBLE TASK OF KNOWING ANOTHER

Can we truly know another human being?

Ordinarily, the answer is no. 

We may know someone's name, profession, habits, likes and dislikes, achievements, or failures. We may even spend decades living with someone. Yet all of this belongs to the surface. It tells us about personality, not about being.

The deeper essence of another person remains hidden. The reason is simple. We do not even know ourselves.

Most of us mistake ourselves for our thoughts, emotions, memories, beliefs, body, social identity, and personal history. We identify with the ever-changing waves while remaining unaware of the vast ocean beneath them.

If we have not discovered our own true nature, how can we possibly claim to know another's?

A blind person cannot accurately describe colors. Similarly, a person who has not awakened to their own being cannot perceive the true being of another.

EVERY JUDGMENT IS A MIRROR

Whenever we judge another person, we believe we are revealing something about them. In reality, we are revealing ourselves. We think we are describing them, but we are exposing our own conditioning, fears, desires, wounds, ideals, and expectations. 

A person who is obsessed with dishonesty sees dishonesty everywhere.
A fearful person sees danger everywhere.
A loving person sees beauty everywhere.

The object outside becomes a screen upon which the mind projects itself.

Two people may observe exactly the same individual and reach completely opposite conclusions.

One says: "He is arrogant." Another says: "He is confident."

One says: "She is selfish." Another says: "She has healthy boundaries."

One sees generosity. Another sees foolishness.

One admires ambition. Another condemns it as greed.

Why such different conclusions? 

Because perception is never independent of the observer. Our fears, desires, wounds, expectations, values, and conditioning shape what we notice and how we interpret it. The external world becomes a screen upon which the mind projects itself.

This is why every judgment carries an autobiographical element. It tells us as much, and often more, about the observer than about the observed. This does not necessarily mean the other person possesses none of the qualities being described. Rather, what captures our attention, what emotionally disturbs or attracts us, reveals the structure of our own consciousness.

I have always loved this quotation from Carl Jung which perfectly aligns with the theme of this concept - "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." The statement is not merely psychological. It is an invitation toward self-awareness.

PERSONALITY VERSUS BEING

Most human interactions occur only at the level of personality. We interact with names, appearances, memories, and behavior. Rarely do we encounter the living being behind these expressions.Personality is like clothing. Being is the one wearing the clothes. Yet because we ourselves are identified with our own personality, we naturally assume everyone else is their personality too. This creates endless misunderstanding. We respond to masks while remaining unaware of the face behind them.

THE EXCEPTION: THE EXPANDED VISION 

Is there anyone who can truly know another?

The spiritual traditions of the world suggest one exception: the awakened individual. This is not because such a person possesses supernatural powers. It is because they have first discovered themselves.  

Imagine two people. One stands deep inside a valley. The other stands upon the summit of a mountain. The person in the valley cannot see beyond the surrounding hills; their vision is limited. The person standing on the mountaintop, however, can see both the valley and the surrounding landscape.

An expanded consciousness naturally encompasses what a constricted consciousness cannot even perceive. This is why awakened beings often understand ordinary human struggles with remarkable clarity, while ordinary individuals frequently misunderstand awakened beings. The wider perspective holds space for the narrow, but the narrow cannot fully comprehend the depth of the wider view.

KNOWING THE ESSENCE

An awakened person does not know others merely by analyzing their personality. Instead, they recognize the same consciousness shining through different forms. 

Consider the ocean. Every wave appears unique. Some are large, some are small, some are calm, and some are turbulent. Yet every wave is nothing but water. One who understands the nature of water immediately understands every wave.

Similarly, an awakened being recognizes the same awareness expressing itself through every individual life. Differences exist only at the surface. The essence remains one.

Another way to express this is that an awakened being has already journeyed through the entire spectrum of mundane consciousness. As a result, they can effortlessly recognize the level of consciousness from which another person is functioning.

 

WHY MASTERS ARE SO OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD?

History repeatedly demonstrates an interesting phenomenon. The same spiritual master receives completely contradictory descriptions. One person says: "He is the greatest enlightened being." Another insists: "He is dangerous." A third calls him arrogant. A fourth experiences immense compassion.

Who is correct?

Perhaps each person is describing not the master, but themselves. An awakened master functions much like a perfectly polished mirror. The mirror itself has no opinion; it merely reflects. A smiling face finds a smiling reflection. An angry face encounters anger. The mirror remains untouched. 

The emptier the master becomes, the more readily people project their own unconscious patterns onto them. This is one reason why enlightened individuals are often simultaneously loved, hated, worshipped, and condemned.

THE INVITATION: DISCERNING WITHOUT CONDEMNING

Hence, before judging another person, pause.

Ask yourself: "What does this reaction reveal about me? What within me feels threatened, attracted, disturbed, or fascinated?"

Slowly, the focus shifts.

Instead of using others as objects of judgment, they become mirrors for self-discovery. Every relationship becomes an opportunity for awareness. Every conflict becomes a doorway inward. 

Crucially, this shift inward does not mean abandoning practical clarity. We must explicitly distinguish between judgment and discernment.

Judgment is an emotional projection that condemns another person's fundamental being; discernment is the objective observation of behavior to ensure safety and set healthy boundaries. You can completely recognize a harmful behavior and remove yourself from it without needing to spiritually or emotionally punish the soul of the person performing it.

CONCLUSION

The ancient inscription at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi declared: "Know Thyself." This timeless wisdom is not merely advice for personal improvement. It is the foundation of all understanding. As long as we remain strangers to ourselves, our knowledge of others will be colored by projection, assumption, and conditioning. 

When self-knowledge flowers, perception becomes clear. Judgment gives way to understanding. Condemnation transforms into compassion. Separation dissolves into unity. Then one no longer sees merely personalities moving through the world. One recognizes the same silent consciousness dancing in countless forms. In that recognition, the question is no longer, "Who is the other?" 

The question itself disappears. Only awareness remains.

And in that awareness, there is neither valley nor mountain, neither higher nor lower. There is only the vast sky of consciousness in which all forms arise, play their roles, and finally dissolve back into the same infinite mystery.

Gratitude!!!