Interpretation of the Twentieth Rule of Love

Rule Number 20 — Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That is the hardest part and that is what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow.

– Shams, to Desert Rose

Context - This rule arises during the same conversation between Shams and Desert Rose mentioned in Rule #19. As Shams is about to leave, he tells, almost commands, Desert Rose, “Just walk out of that brothel.” Startled, she asks, “Where will I go?” It is at this moment that Shams shares this rule, which is essentially about confronting our deepest fears.

Interpretation within the Story - Shams understands that the brothel is not a place meant for someone like Desert Rose, who is so spiritually inclined that she is willing to risk her life just to listen to Rumi. In such a situation, she needs a strong push to even consider leaving that life and stepping onto a spiritual path. That is why Shams makes such a firm and direct statement: “Just walk out of that brothel.”

At the same time, Desert Rose’s fear is completely natural. The human mind is always afraid of the unknown. This is where Shams guides her through this rule, encouraging her to face her fears rather than be controlled by them.

Deeper Interpretation Beyond the Story - At its core, this rule is about facing our deepest fears. We often choose to remain in familiar situations or maintain status-quo, even when they bring neither happiness nor growth. The mind resists the unknown, even when that unknown may lead to transformation and a better life.

Shams explains that our responsibility is only to take the first step toward change. That is something no one else can do for us. First, we must genuinely desire change, and then we must act on it by taking that initial step. This requires courage. Once we do this, existence takes over. As we begin walking, the path gradually reveals itself, and we simply need to remain aligned with the flow.

Shams says, “Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow.”
Guru Nanak expresses a similar idea: “Don’t swim, float.”

What does this mean?

When we “go with the flow” or try to swim, there is still a sense of separation. We exist, and the flow exists. This implies the presence of ego alongside existence. But when we float or become the flow itself, that separation dissolves. The ego no longer remains, and only the flow exists.

This can also be seen in the context of the law of attraction. People often complain that it does not work. The real issue arises when they attract what they desire, but hesitate when it comes to taking action or making decisions. At that moment, fear takes over. The familiarity of a known prison begins to feel safer than the uncertainty of unknown freedom.

Shams rightly says, “That is the hardest part, and that is what you are responsible for.” From personal experience, especially when changing professions multiple times and risking stable income to explore new paths, it becomes clear that the first step is both the hardest and the most crucial. That responsibility lies entirely with us. After that, the universe takes care of the rest.

One may ask, why can’t the universe take even that first step? Why is that our responsibility?

Because the universe needs to see whether we are truly serious about change. If we are sincere, we will take that step, and only then can the universe respond. But if we are unwilling to act, there is no reason for the universe to intervene.

The same principle applies in spirituality. It is often said that if we take one step toward God, God takes ten steps toward us. This is because very few people genuinely turn toward spirituality. So when someone does take that first step, support naturally flows toward them. Still, the responsibility of that first step remains ours.

In essence, this rule is about confronting your deepest fears and taking action to move from a life you fear toward a life you truly love.

Gratitude!!!